‘No’ is in itself a complete sentence. It does not require any justification or explanation.
‘No’ is such a simple word with only two letters, yet saying ‘no’ is harder for most people than saying ‘yes’ or ‘I’ll be glad to help you’. Many of us grow up to become people-pleaser in their lives, the word ‘no’ drops out of their vocabulary and they substitute it with lot of ways to be agreeable and keep other person happy. It has become engraved in our culture to instantaneously say ‘yes’, rather than saying no, since it feels weird and even rude sometimes. More scared we get from saying no, harder things become for us.
Being on the receiving end of a ‘no’ can be brutal, but saying yes to everything isn’t going to make up for that. It’s only going to make you more stressed out. It also makes other people value your time less. Once you say yes to someone a few times, they start to expect it.
To be happy is to wisely use the power of saying No to some people. Don’t be afraid to disappoint people who only conveniently remember you when they want something from you. Some people say ‘yes’ to everyone friends, co-workers, family members, professors and employers. They want to be well liked everyone and never want to let anyone down. They want to be people pleaser, they are always overcommited and don’t take care of their own needs. Their schedule is so busy that they don’t have time for doing anything exciting or adventurous.
We have limits to our time, energy and interests. It can be absolutely awkward to say no. We’ve all experienced the swell of anxiety when we grudgingly say yes, knowing all the while that our gut is screaming ‘no’, we often say yes to things we’d rather not do out of a desire to please. We don’t want to disappoint and saying yes is far easier and satisfying, in the short-term. But long-term, it can leave you stressed out, overbooked, and resentful. Ditch the feeling that you need to authenticate or validate your no. You don’t owe anyone an explanation or an excuse. You may fear that your reasons aren’t good enough, so you end up giving in. But at the end of the day, if you can’t or don’t want to do something, regardless of the reasoning, that’s your prerogative and that’s all the reason you need.
But its worth keeping in mind that sometimes we all have to say yes to certain duties at work or at home. Trust your intuition, conscience, and reasoning to do the right thing. Sometimes, against all of your heart’s desires, you will need to show up, stand up to yourself, for yourself, and say hell no.